Lia LaFleur 444evaa

many. Words

notin an order reallt



6:42AM, 27/05/2024 its a dog eat dog world, let me inside your mouth.

9:16AM, 22/09/2024 day 27 at sea. eda is the first to succumb scurvy. didnt like her anyways. too much hair. i never knew how lonely it would be at sea. my crew is retarded. and dead. i am talking to polly but shes not much better. i hate birds i dont even know why i bought her. i cant fucking take it anymore. a british fleet put a hhole in the starboard side of the hull, my poor vessel. its so fucking over. gunna blow my fucking brains out all over the captains quarters with a flint lock. lowkey.

2:45AM, 26/10/2024 Mr Lightstreams is an interesting critter i have found. he lives in solitude. he likes drugs. hes like me. but like not retarded. i have come to appreciate my interactions with Him. i find him interesting he is like an observer in my shitty play and he claps and then helps me move onto the next performance. "audiencepilled, and observermaxxed" he says. he seems to deeply desire fame. me even quoting him brings great joy. its freakish almost his lust for admiration. perhaps this is the work of years on discord, going unnoticed by the cunny he oh so longs for. moving on from his sick and twisted mind. he likes weed alot and buys doodads for his great escape from his discord cuck life. he is like a wine smeller and stuff but with weed i dont understand it. he often reports to me his growing suspicion that ghouls have infiltrated his ventilation system and walls. this belief lead him to strange places he would goo with a g-gun and p- puh- uhm... penis~ in hand. he likes penis in hand it seems. just kidding. I have observed that his voice is very similar to spirals. like maybe pubescent spiral. however that is not nessessarily bad as i have witnessed multiple women on Instagram enter an insatiable lust after hearing spirals voice and it grosses me out a little. lightstreams is a crazy person incapable of feeling emotions and he likes to kick puppies. despite this i often find myself contacting him in times of stimulant abuse, simpily due to, as ive said before... he is my observer to my schizo rambles about things and he is also good at talking its interesting he is very well educated and kind and understands i am the the star of my performance basically and also he helps me alot i feel bad that i bother him but he gives me good advice i cant comprehend because im lowkey like retarded and also i hope he becomes my internet best friend i know i have asked now 5 or so random people to be my best friend however we are actually alike in a few ways and sometimes it scares me a little but he is a reliable randle, as they called him, before the incident that left him stranded deep in ghoul territory. i was there. i was the only one who thought to leave. but he asserted he stay put and to go on without him dramatically. he just said the n word and bladee in the same sentence. anyway yes basically he sacrificed himself for no reason really. maybe this plays into his deep desire for recognition. mayhaps. he is twenty five years old probably and works in home depot inhaling chemicals and moving lumber i assume. many describe him as "psychopathic" and "crazy kookoo nutcase" and "demented foul monster" this may be due to the trauma he experienced during his formative years. he was often teased for being the shortest in his grade. his class mates often called him littlelittlelightstreams and. also this also led to his "blackpilled truecel" life style. i have no idea what that means hes crazy it was probably fucking jayden in 5th grade calling him a midget fag. despite his height, he is capable of incredible feats such as push ups. lightstreams feels doomed and trapped and copes with his despair by riding my dick and buying Adderall like dude i did that first and it was way cooler when i did it even. lightstreams is known by his online circle as the nonchalant and kind of layed back friend, kind of chill, minding his business. but behind close doors, he is akin to sad bart 2019 edits. he obsesses over strange sequences of meaningless letters and numbers, a form of pseudoscience/socionomics often seen studied by crazy people and Koreans. oh boy. dont get me started on his love for Koreans. ill get into that. in chapter 2. he has decided himself he is a "ILI LFEV SX5 549 mel-dom" whatever the fuck that means. no one agress with him however he still asserts its literally him or whatever because he hasn't changed one bit. he is still that sad little boy posting sad bart images to attract attention, once again tracing back to his insatiable, sickly desire for admiration, pity and attention. many fall for this. he is known as "great master pimp lord" in many dbt group therapy sessions. he tends to target those who will give him the undying admiration he oh so oh sososso so so so desires so bad. i have been watching him for many years, studying him among the ghouls. i will report back further information i collect. weed.

4:36pm, 29/20/2024 you are funny like peter,
beautiful like lois,
intelligent like stewie,
eloquent like brian,
strong like joe,
horny like quagmire,
insightful like cleveland,
but everyone hates on u like ur meg...

3:07, 26/10/2024 saddest littlelightstream bart sadbartbart
placed in the back left, hidden in the shade of the spotlight
lightstreams watches, anamoured in the display.
a man and a woman stand shaking on the stage...
the director yells "fuck" and shakes the script page.
storming the stage and raising a fist, lightstream stares,
before fixing his focus back on to the show.
the stage light has shifted.
the trooned out director.. is holding a gun.
she cries and she shoots, lets the whole clip spray
on the actors, not paid.
kicking and screaming, she bitches some more
before exclaiming her girlfriend is a dumb bitch whore.
lightstream claps, actors gurgling blood
"im off a perc. and i still have my gun"
the stage curtains draw, little lightstreams does cry
he goes home and he smokes his evil poison gifted by the ghouls the ghouls in his crawl space he built on theyre land and they are MAD

6:54PM, 22/09/2024 my crude lover: a poem by Lincolnshire huckleberry.
i sit restless lathered in my black pool of slick..
and i am not sure,
that i want to come out of my beloved muck,
my mind a million miles away.
my hair is a mess of matted dreads and i stick
i sink deeper into my crude lover,
stinker i called her,
her scent hung heavy yet brought me joy,
tasted like the sweetness of what laid under the ocean floor
moisture and sweat and mingled with my blood
her hands were everywhere,
i mean,
everywhere
her fingers, i mean, fingers
she touched everywhere.

9:47PM, 05/01/2024 got up. random pain like i got punched lower right part of ribs. kinda like theyre bruised but not as genuine. vision distorting pulling everything inwards clockwise. i feel so detached from my body i hardly have physical autonomy however i still have control on a sub conscious level. i feel i am getting closer to severing myself liv

1:43AM 02/04/2024 “only one sample per customer ma ' am" asserted, from an absence of chins yet simultaneous, an abundance. wretched creature middle aged, yet pubescent masculine, yet tender an arrow to my heart ill never surrender... hallowed paper jello cup contorted in my grasp.. oscillating on my heels sweat glistened as it danced under the divine fluorescent radiance of the grocery store lights my thoughtless gaze at the glazed tiles-interrupted a haunting presence, imposing behind me. tinny and muffled played a haunting tune from a quaint ipod shuffle desperate screams brew. a rhythmic clap, droning note, too cries for my heart ill admit i did swoon. "OLIVIA." shouted the figure, "I FREAKIN LOVE YOU BABE." "johnny B… never thought.. you would compose such a track.. with you thoughts on me..." "oh sweet olivia.. my only one… my beatboxing blowjob technique, foiled my tournament. but it was worth it… to see your pupils bloom…" our hands locked tight our lips, tighter for a brief moment, in time and space we were one, a beaten wife and beatboxer. for in his face, i saw, a reflection of me. i hope i see you again, my love...

7:44AM, 10/06/2024 iam in love with you

3:03AM, 15/04/2024 idont know whats wrong with me i wish i could kill the part of myself that makes me this way find someone who actually cares and holds their love for me i dont want to be alone but its all ive been taught and i dont know how to change everyday this dread of knowing ill never be okay and not be alone, filled with the fear i will lose everyone i have like i lost everyone ive ever had

11:47PM, 27/04/2024 you’ll never understand i dont think i will ever

1:30AM, 24/06/2024 TODAY IS MY FIRST STUPID FUCKING DAY AT MY RETARDED HEALTHYCEL FATCAMP. I dont mind captivity reminds me of the zoo and all the delicious flesh hanging off them fatty zeberas mmmfmfgg.., anywhoooo. After i got off the bus they stopped me and touched me allll over. It was so embarrassing when one of my bulking bars fell out from my left 4th titty fat fold… hehe… the first part of the program they made me climb a stairs master. They called me names like “piggy” and “little miss tubby tard” as i galloped, sweat flying, spinkling upon the eternal cascade of steps. I couldnt help but i feel like sisypus in that moment. Felt so much like him in fact i freaking wizzed my johns!!!! Although it wasnt all bad. Brought and end to my suffering and i even got to feel the wizz bubble between my little piggies… OUUUUWEEE!!!!!! They provided me with a journal to scribe my “piggy thoughts” and here we are. Today, even with its troubles, has been triumphus

loveletters

5:24AM, 25/06/2024 dear iva, my head and heart Is full of you, i adore you more than anything. when you're gone i lay and try to remember the pressure on my bed springs, your naiLs in my skin pulling me into yOu and i try to absorb your whole body. i want you to talk to me. i want you to sing songs with me. i want you to love me. i want you to be lonely with me. i want to be alone with you , foreVer in yr hEart. i am sappy and poorlY worded , yet it would kill me to nOt be so. i coUld never verbalise the affection i hold for you to its truest extent. i want you to kill me. over and over and over and over tell me what i mean to you. let me lay in your arms still youre sore . i want To upset you. i want you to hate me. i want you to love me forever, never leave. i promise to do the same. if i were stranded on a desert island, in the furthest reaches of the pacific, you would be the only one to be there with me. it saddens me to think you are not the first thing i wake to, your face, your touch, your presence, and i will wait patiently until i know no different. i wont go anywhere. forever in yr hart, livivlivlivivivivivvv

maiL!!!

To:Liv-From:Iva
3:32AM 24/10/2024 i still rememfer when we first kissed. i was so excited i told all my friends. u kissing me everywhere was so nice i was really nervous to actually kiss u on the lips i felt like i could never be good enough for someone as sweet and kind as u. u were so much cooler and more talented than me and u still r. u will go soo much further than me in life but i want to help u with anything ever. ill buy u all ur music stuff and take u anywhere. im so sorry i get mean to you sometimes. you make me comfortable and i forget how to be tender and show u the love u think i dont have. but i really do love u. i don’t tell u how often i cry over u because it makes me feel weak and stupid but i listen to songs that remind me of u and i find it so hard to believe that i actually feel this strongly cause i thought id never end up with that. but i feel it and its so much to take in every time even though ive known u for a while now. i tried to run away bevause i never got over feeling like i can’t be enough. but its not fair to someone as beautiful as u who has never given up on me. i will never take u for granted. i know u feel like ur nobody’s priority but if i had to sacrifice everything for u i would. i can only show things in ways that hide my emotions because im trying to be more expressive but i get scared. i wanted to cry when u first kissed me. i wanted to cry when i asked u out. i still cry most nights thinking about u. i cried the first time i heard u sing. i think u have the most beautiful voice ever and when u used to sing me songs in ur room id try to make u stop not cuz i didn’t like it but cuz i didn’t want to cry. i guess hurting u took the closeness away so i wouldnt be scared. but i want to be scared and i want to be urs and i wanna cry every time i talk to u. i have never felt like i needed someone quite in this way and every time uve cried to me ive never judged u like i have others. i just look at u and feel grief for the first time. i never wanted to ruin ur body or ur talent or ur mind. i see so much in ur thoughts like ur someone i can take time to truly know and be with and id spend forever listening to u talk. u changed the way i thought about people and i ended up valuing u in a way i never thought i was capable of. i never wanted to be what i was raised to be and i think ur the only thing that can help me out of that. i remember every time ive walked u home. i remember every kiss weve had. i miss falling asleep next to u and trying to wake u up. one day we can have that again. i will try my hardest to show u that u can be truly loved and valued because theres nobody ivr met that makes me feel the way u have. i love u so much and forever.

To:Spiral-From:Liv
5:42AM, 28/06/2024 dear Mr spiral, i was sorry to hear about your daughter. i think there is a small hole in the upper quadrant of my Heart, where the stray arrows still poke through. I feel them some days more than others, and i cry. this loss is very complicated, i did not know her, yet i am deeply saddened by her death. i grieve for the people that loved her, i cannot Believe how you must be feeling. i know deep down she lives within us all. much love, liv

To:Spiral-From:Liv
5:52AM, 28/06/2024 dear Mr spiral, the service was beautiful. i shed many tears and i am grateful to have been involved in this experience. i hope i brought you and your family warmth. soon today will become but a Healing memory for you. you are strong. i know you can make it through this. much love, Liv

imaages



lyrics i like

terminal lucifity oor sumn

I'll use the broken mirrors we smashed
To slit our wrists together
So I hope we kiss when I wring your neck
And fuck when it's all over
And when the drugs kick in, I'll light your cig
So I can be your little cancer
I'll love you so much, but you'll never know enough

So I wanna fuck you faster
Till I see your bleeding cunt

armageddon

I say it's over, although
I still do love her, although
It's still a problem
Picking up the pieces, breaking down your pillars

I could have loved her
I wish I loved her
I though I loved her
I want to kill her

Sacrifice your body
To someone else
You'll find that anybody could
Hide in someone's cells
Sacrifice your body
And don't look back
It's safer dying
Than working to live
I really wish I could have been
That person that you've always wished for
But I can't do that
But I can't be that
So you'll find someone new
Someone who has always done right by you

And I'll just stay far away
So you can never ever see me again
So I'll die in your mind
If I burn down all you wished for
And say goodbye to a life
That I don't wish to live for